Heart and Soul
by MortalAcademy
Summary: Alec's mind runs away with itself as he is sat around the morning of his wedding, but he can't let the thoughts go. He needs to talk to Magnus and get everything out in the open. Is he having cold feet?


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, they belong to the wonderful Cassandra Clare.**

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><p>Alec had stewed in his quarters of the large mundane manor house, that he and Magnus had decided to get married in since they arrived the night before. The building held it's own reception hall and chapel, which even for Alec's tastes were beautifully laid out. He had taken the East wing, while Magnus had taken the West. Both Jace and Isabelle had been in and out of his room all morning, but they passed his vision like a car running down 5th avenue. Nothing more than a blur that his thoughts over threw. He knew he was wrong to ignore and just nod along to whatever they had to say, since he could be agreeing to anything, and in Jace's case that could be streaking through Central Park. But Alec couldn't bring himself to care, dark paranoid thoughts chewed away at his rational thought. As he stared from the door that was closed firmly into it's frame, he cast his eyes down to glimpse at the wedding runes embroidered into the fabric of his cuffs. He took a deep breath, shook his ink black his hair from his eyes, then nodded to himself. The next thing he knew he'd pulled the door wide, and took off down the corridor. He had to make it stop, or it'd eat him alive.<p>

Magnus was sat at the vanity that stood before a wide bay window, that looked out over the mass of grass-covered grounds that surrounded the manor. He had a smile plastered to his face, and it had become infectious to everyone who had entered his room that morning. The pounding of his heart could be heard in his ears and prickled across his skin, he knew that he would never be any happier than he was in that exact moment. He was ecstatic that _their_ day had finally arrived, after months and months of planning. It was finally here. He brushed the light coloured powder across his cheeks, watching his eyes dance with happiness, he couldn't help smiling at his reflection. Twirling the brush between his fingers he remembered back to what Catarina had once told him about her never seeing him as happy as she had with Alec. He wasn't ashamed to admit she was right just this once. He owed her so-

"Magnus." Magnus hadn't heard his door open, nor the footsteps that followed, but he'd know that voice anywhere. Turning around on his chair where he sat at the vanity, he came to look upon the view of his husband-to-be in his suit. As quick as he could, he covered his eyes with his hands.

"Alec! What are you doing here?! It's bad luck to see the husband before the wedding." He heard Alec close the door with a click, and footsteps make their way towards him, and hands pulling his hands away from his face. Though Alec still kept his distance by stepping away, which caused Magnus to frown.

"That's a mundane saying, and it's the groom who isn't suppose to see the bride. Not the husband to see the husband." Magnus snorted, forgetting about the distance between them. Which evidently could have been as wide as the Atlantic ocean the way Magnus saw it, and he didn't like it.

"Well who would you like to be? The bride or the groom?" He teased, leaning forward towards Alec. Who in return frowned and shook his head, stepping from foot to foot. Magnus's thoughts ran on overdrive, all different ideas pounding into his imagination, all being bad. He got to his feet and walked towards Alec, who once again stepped away.

"Magnus, we need to talk." Magnus stopped dead in his tracks and gaped at his lover. He blinked trying to take in those four words he dreaded to hear. Taking a deep breath looking down at his orange socks, then back up Alec's face and deep into his eyes. He straightened his back the best he could, making himself look brave.

"Alexander... Are you having cold feet? Don't you want to marry me? Did I do something wrong? I understand if-" His voice strained past his throat, cracking under every syllable. Alec took one step towards of him, shaking his head frantically.

"No, no Magnus. I'm not saying I don't want to marry you, nor am I having cold feet. I just need to get some things off my chest, and out of my head, because if not this will never work." Magnus followed every direction his beloved blue orbs took, searching down into the depths of his soul for any inkling of change. It was something he couldn't find, bringing him an inward sigh of relief. Alec stood staring back, to which Magnus nodded a confirmation for him to continue.

"It's.. Well... It's just you have had such a life to live, and so much has happened in those lifetimes. Things I can't change, nor live up too and some things I will never be able to let go. I will forever forgive you and never hold grudges, but they will stay with me like a prisoner chained against my mind." Magnus took a step forward into his partners space, looking down through dark lashes into bright blue eyes. Thankfully Alec didn't step away, but still made no move or action towards him. He angled his head down to look up at him, looking concerned and confused.

"Alec.. What are you talking about? What can't you let go of?" Magnus generally looked confused up at the boy. He'd known his life wouldn't be an easy subject, but after giving his whole essence of living and life to Alec, he assumed he understand. Though clearly from the look and flicker of fight in his eyes, he definitely didn't. At least not entirely. Alec took a deep sigh, locking eyes with him, and losing all emotion from his features.

"This is my only life. The only life I will ever live, and I intend to spend it with you. But I worry and wonder, that maybe one day, you might choose to lust over another. You said yourself you have been with numerous people throughout your lifetime and I can't compete. The only people I have ever been interested in were you and Jace, and you know everything began with you. I don't want to be brave enough to give myself away for you to want another when I'm old and grey. I can't and I'm not going to pretend it's okay, because I don't know that." Magnus was speechless. He had never expected that from the quiet shadowhunter, despite knowing he had a powerful passion for things. He never knew that would be one. Out of instinct he took Alec's hands into his own, pulling him closer towards him. Luckily his hopeful husband-to-be obliged without a fight. He looked down firmly at the younger man. The love of his life.

"Alexander, I can't deny that I haven't been with other people, but what you have to understand is that was years ago before we even knew each other. If I knew all of those years ago that I would meet you, I would of waited a thousand lifetimes for you." Magnus moved his hands up and clasped Alec's pale face between his tanned hands, smiling fondly at him. A half smile.

"You are the most important person in my life, and no one will or ever has come as close to you. You were the first person I opened up too, because you wound your way into my soul. After all of this time, I would never mess this up, there is nobody in a million years that would make me not want you. I am telling you now that it will be okay, because I will reassure you everyday for the rest of your life how important you are too me, and how much I love you. Age is nothing more than a number, and looks will definitely fade, but I love you for you, your heart and soul." There was a small tear trickling in intervals down each pale cheek, which Magnus caught on his thumbs. He smiled at his young lover, who in return gave him a small yet genuine smile. He pressed one hand over Alec's heart, with a smile full of love.

"I love you for what's on the inside. You're looks are just a bonus, I can't say that I don't love them, because I do. But I love you so much more for everything on the inside. For your kindness, your passion, your bravery, your loyalty and how fiercely you love people. There is no one better than you, Alexander. Not ever." He felt Alec take a sharp breath in, while tears ran freely over his cheeks. To which Magnus was about to join in with, as tears prickled at his eyes. He smiled down at his husband-to-be, pulling him into his chest, resting his head on the younger boys mass of black hair, carding his fingers through it.

"Is that enough proof that I'm never going away?" Magnus chuckled a little as he spoke, pushing his hair, as Alec looked up at him. There was a playful grin placed across his face, which was infectious, as it caused Magnus to grin back. He leaned down and captured the pale man's lips with his own, smiling into the kiss. It was all teeth and lips, since neither could stop smiling and laughing. Magnus knew in that moment that Alec understood finally. He understood that it was him and only him. Nobody else. It was Alec or nobody at all. The black haired, blue eyed shadowhunter had captured his heart and soul, and that was all there was too it.

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